Doreen and I took our two daughters (Nicole and Catherine), eight-year-old grandson (Jaden), and one of our sons (Grant) for a shopping trip recently. Not that I'm that keen on shopping—I'm good for 20 minutes before I start getting restless, unless I'd brought along a good book to read or find a bookstore nearby.

This time, I figured Grant and I could hang out and catch up on what's going on in each others' lives. Plus there was an Apple store in this particular mall, and since both Grant and I are avid Mac fans, I knew there would be a wealth of possibilities for entertainment.

As the girls bounced from store to store, Grant and I wandered about until it came time to grab a bite to eat. Throughout our “mall walkabout” the conversation meandered also to a variety of topics. Since both Grant (and his wife Donna) and I and Doreen have all been in a particularly intense and busy cycle, eventually our discussion focused on this topic. Then Grant asked me, “How do you cope with this kind of crazy schedule?”

Hmm. Good question. It caused me to pause and consider how we did manage the travel, workshops, and writing demands that Doreen and I had been going through the past few weeks, with breaks far and few between. I realized also that many of us seemed to get caught up in these rather demanding and highly scheduled lives. I chewed on this, and found myself describing to Grant some ways that helped me personally to deal with the stress of this kind of intense workload. I came up with four important ingredients to successfully negotiating through these kinds of periods:

1) You're not a victim! —This was the first idea that came out of my mouth. Most stress is triggered not by the events themselves, but by what you tell yourself or think about the event. And the number one way of thinking that will trigger tension and distress is “victim thinking.” This shows up as self-pity, feeling put-upon, resentment, anger, and muscular tension. When this piles up, it leads to being physiologically and emotionally overwhelmed and ultimately to physical symptoms, such as headaches, backaches, or worse. Ongoing stress wears out the immune system and makes us more vulnerable to disease. I commented to Grant that when I notice I'm feeling this way, I remind myself, “I'm not a victim! I have made these choices and I can choose otherwise.” That squares me right away and gets me grounded in the truth.

2) Self-care —Okay, you've heard this before, but this is still so critical to managing stress. Regular exercise, meditation, good eating habits, playtime, and even massage can all serve to keep you in balance when so much of the time you feel like you're constantly in hurry-up mode. In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and other related programs, they describe the acronym H.A.L.T.—Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. What's suggested by this acronym is that if you get the strong urge to drink (or act on any other addiction), first do a checklist of these four needs. Once you identify which of these are activated, first take care of that particular need. We all know how we can get with the lack of sleep, or if we're very hungry. This is all part of self-care.

3) Nature —Although we're an incredibly adaptive and creative species, we were not designed to spend all our time indoors. We can certainly appreciate shelter of any kind from the harsher climates and elements, especially during the colder winter months, but not through the whole year. So get outdoors, even if only a few minutes each day on your lunch break. Some time try a walking meditation, one where you slow down to three-quarters of your usual pace. This can be more challenging than it sounds, but doing so forces you to heed your senses to a greater degree and pay attention to sights, sounds, smells, and sensations much more acutely. Take your socks and shoes off. Sit with your back against a tree and breath with the tree. Watch a sunset from the beach. Being in nature has an innate healing effect on the mind, body, and soul.

4) Take a breath, give a breath —Pause periodically and take four slow, conscious deep breaths. then observe what happens in your body. Breathe in gratitude for life-giving oxygenated air, the gift from the plant kingdom. When you breath out, offer a simple prayer of blessing to the earth, especially the tree and plant-beings who give off the oxygen so necessary to all human and animal life. When you feel like your brain is shorting out and you're riding close to overwhelm (or you're there already), stop, get up, walk around, go hang out in the bathroom for a few moments, or ideally, go outside, and BREATHE! Don't wait until you're at critical mass!

Keeping these ideas and principles in mind and using them whenever you begin to detect tension mounting are powerful keys to managing your stress levels. And don't forget to play and laugh at least a little bit each day. It's all good soul medicine.